Before I get into my autistic ramblings, let me EXPLAIN TO YOU who Spy is. I hope you already know. Anyways, Spy is a Frenchman with a crippling cigarette and alcohol addiction and he also stabs ppl in battle. He can kill people in ONE HIT by backstabbing them. Soooooo cool. He's hella fancy and wears 1000000 dollar suits bc he's #rich. He also LOVES SEX. He is famous for his 6-person-threesomes. Sixsomes? Gurl idk!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways he loves sex. He has a wife(?) tho, who he accidentally had a kid with named Scout. He is an absent father but its ok i still support him. Anyways from this point forward I'm using she/her for Spy bc calling such a WOMANLY WOMAN a HE makes me physically recoil. idc if shes a man in canon THIS IS MY BRAIN I DO WHAT I WANT.

SPY RAMBLES

• Like her son, she has a large ego, which acts as a facade to mask how emotionally bottled up she is. She cannot handle emotions on her own, and instead tries to handle emotional problems in a way where she doesn't have to be direct. She's an absent parent to Scout, and despite seemingly taking care of him as a child, grew distant as he got older, creating a strained and poor relationship between the two. She loves Scout, and wants to say it and show it, but can't do it herself. She's a coward, as shown in the comics, when she feels like she has to say what she has to say to Scout under the disguise of Tom Jones, Scout's idol. She told Scout that she was proud of him, and told him that she was his father, all while appearing to Scout as his idol. She wanted to say those things to Scout herself, but couldn't. Another example of this is in Expiration Date. In Expiration Date, she finds out that she and all her friends may only have 3 more days left to live. Instead of doing something for herself, she spends all 3 of those days trying to teach Scout how to get a girlfriend. She decides to spend the possibly last moments of her life with her son, teaching him how to find love. She doesn't word her love for him, but she has it.
• I love her smile, I love her small but meaningful gestures, I love her intelligence, I love her interests, I love everything about her. One of my favourite things about her are her small but meaningful gestures. Throughout the comics, the SFMs, etc., she can be shown doing small but kind/helpful things. One of my favourite moments was in the xmas comic. Spy finds a scared child, and comforts the child. She tells him not to run, and not to be scared. When the child defends himself, Spy congratulates him. From what I've noticed, she seems to have a soft spot for children. I think she enjoys being around them, and is relatively good with them. Sometimes I wonder if part of the reason she became absent in Scout's life was because she hated seeing him age so quickly. Maybe she felt like she was losing someone she loved. I like to headcanon that, like me, she finds it easier to communicate with children, and finds it comforting. I like to think she has a harder time communicating with those who are older, because she has a harder time reading their emotions and communicating with them in general. Communication is easier with children, and doesn't need as much to think about. Things are simpler. Maybe she finds that comforting.

HEADCANONS

• she has autism spectrum disorder, but masks very well. She has trouble with communication, empathy, and emotional regulation. She's very emotionally numb, and despite wanting to be close with people, can't bring herself to build that relationship.
• she has trust issues. After years of being a professional spy, I can imagine that she's developed heavy trust issues, which makes her relationships very strained.
• she is a transgender woman, and bisexual.
• she loves animals, and finds them more understandable than humans.
• her sense of humour is very dry when shes masking, but her actual humour is more goofy. She likes dad-jokes, and puns. She loves word play.
• she has bipolar disorder. I think she was born with it, but it was worsened by her alcohol consumption. Her manic and depressive episodes are very bad, and the times when she feels the most emotion. During manic episodes, she's aggressive, paranoid, and incredibly impulsive. During depressive episodes, she isolates herself from the others, drinks a lot more alcohol, and, well, is generally very depressed.
• she gets easily addicted to things. She has an alcohol and smoking addiction, and was formerly addicted to her mood-stabilizer medication. She often relapses into past addictions. Medic, despite trying to help her, eventually gave up. She has regular checkups with the Medic, where she sometimes has her liver or lungs replaced.
• she was born in northern Catalonia, but moved to France for her boarding school that she attended when she was younger. She is fluent in Catalan, Spanish, French, and English (her languages are canon).
• she loves disco and pop, and enjoys dancing. She loves clubs.
• shes very overbearing in relationships, but as soon as she gets overwhelmed by them, she ditches.
• she has a flat affect, due to her autism. when she tries to force her face to emote, she just looks very scary and evil lol.
• her special interests are victorian fashion, history, and the renaissance.
• part of the reason she doesn't like facing Scout is because Scout reminds her of herself.

HERE ARE MY PERSONAL HEADCANONS FOR THE RED SPY. These are not exactly connected to my canon spy headcanons, and more so my... idk personal headcanons? I see RED Spy as being timid, brash, aggressive, and very prepared (paranoid). I also see her as being shorter than the BLU Spy... about 5'6? I like to think that she has mid-neck-length thick 3b hair, which she slicks back when wearing her mask. its a miracle shes able to fit it under the balaclava. I think she would certainly wear makeup, although likely doesn't wear it too much on the battlefield. Bc you know. It'll smear or something idk. Also I have a lot of evil headcanons about her but I can't share those bc normal ppl look at my neocities i think :-/

HERE ARE MY PERSONAL HEADCANONS FOR THE BLU SPY. Once again these are not connected to my canon spy headcanons, and are moreso just... idk. For funzies. To me BLU Spy is incredibly boastful, arrogant, intimidating, and rather harsh. She is also very flirtatious. I think she's much taller compared to the RED Spy. 6'1 maybe? I think she and the RED Spy definitely have girly sleepovers with nail painting and cheesy romance movies and everything. I headcanon her as having short slicked back 3b hair... it's very pretty. I think she would present more masculinely, compared to the RED Spy, who I see as presenting more femininely. She's kind of an asshole and shes kind of like Heather Chandler :-/ RED Spy wold be Heather Duke or something